Dredging Up Some Sludge

Cheryl and I were recently asked to do some pre-marital counseling for a young couple we know.  We were honored that they would consider us a resource for the important preparations for their upcoming marriage.  We also admit to feeling very inadequate.

As we met with them for the first time, we tried to be honest and transparent.  But, in being honest and transparent, it started dredging up some sludge.  What?

By definition, sludge is a deposit of ooze at the bottom of a body of water.

Also, by definition, to dredge is to remove ooze from the bottom of a body of water.

Like sludge that has built up over time at the bottom of a dark, murky body of water, the memories of our mistakes, our failures and our regrets are often out of sight and mostly, but not entirely, out of mind. Then something happens or something is said and the sludge gets dredged up.  In this case, our honesty and transparency started the dredging.

But wait, you might say, 1 John 1:9 tells us that we can be cleansed from our sins. 

But wait, you might say, Romans 4:7 indicates that those whose transgressions are forgiven and whose sins are covered are blessed.

But wait, you might say, Psalm 103:12 states that He removes our transgressions from us as far as the east is from the west.

Yes, yes and yes!

So what gives?  Why does the sludge get dredged up?  The reality is, as humans, we are not very capable of entirely forgetting.

But there is One who entirely forgets.  It’s not that He is forgetful, He isn’t.  He simply chooses to not remember!  “For I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more.”  (Jeremiah 31:34).

As we interacted with this couple and later considered our time with them, I began to realize, prompted by some invaluable insights from my wife, that what gets dredged up can have a purpose.  Even though I might prefer to remember it no more, the sludge can remind me that I am forgiven.  The sludge can also be used as a platform to minister to others, in this case in the context of pre-marital counseling.

The book of 2 Corinthians holds a principle that seems to validate this: God comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God (1:3-4).

As we walk through life and experience His mercy, grace and forgiveness, we sometimes then have a platform to share those very things that we have received from God!